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hannahinreallife:

daniiiii, you’re gonna have to tell him about the sunglasses.

 What did you people do to my sunglasses?

We should hang out one day. I can retrieve a certain pair of sunglasses, we could laugh at stupid people, and throw things at them.

The color of your hair changes

Your eyes do not always see it all

your breath be taketh away

then gave back again

in the wood the plumpfellow strolls

by magic

always make the call

Where’s the benadryl when you need it.

iamunchien:

this redneck texted him….

“I have a ps3 with extras, 600 bucks worthin paintball gear and guns and pellet guns airsoft guns, 50 cal muzzlelaoder ross snare drum, knifes high end RC cars electric Scooter 2 go cart frames and a mini bike frame.”

..god i fucking love this town.

 Gotta love rednecks.

We come on the sloop john b
My grandfather and me
Around nassau town we did roam
Drinking all night
Got into a fight
Well i feel so broke up
I want to go home

So hoist up the john b’s sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, yeah yeah
Well i feel so broke up
I wanna go home

The first mate he got drunk
And broke in the cap’n’s trunk
The constable had to come and take him away
Sheriff john stone
Why don’t you leave me alone, yeah yeah
Well i feel so broke up i wanna go home

So hoist up the john b’s sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don’t you let me go home
(hoist up the john b’s sail)
Hoist up the john b
I feel so broke up i wanna go home
Let me go home

The poor cook he caught the fits
And threw away all my grits
And then he took and he ate up all of my corn
Let me go home
Why don’t they let me go home
This is the worst trip i’ve ever been on

So hoist up the john b’s sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don’t you let me go home

“What you gonna do, tell my mommy?”

“No, I’m gonna kick your ass to the end of the street and back up to the other.”

You should only be able to beg for money if you are crazy, drunk, or disabled.